Weekend Bonus - Consultant Joke

Looking for the ultimate consultant joke?

Here you go.

Thanks to the folks at Guerrilla Consulting for sharing this.

Comment - while looking at the funny pages, pay attention to the legitimate Ads by Google that populate every page. This thing isn't just for laughs. Someone has found a foolishly clever way to generate side revenue from what should be a highly sneezed website.

AOL becomes foolishly healthy

As a counterpoint to my rant about the NYTimes starting to charge for content on their daily headline service, here's a story about AOL taking some steps to get healthier by making nearly all of its content free at AOL.com.

Ironic - I found the story on the NY Times daily headline service. Here's a taste:

Today, though smaller, America Online is not merely alive but defiantly healthy - especially when it needs to be, having recently taken a terrifying but necessary strategic step: making virtually all of its content available free at AOL.com, no subscription required.

When I encourage companies to be foolish, I urge them to consider things that don't make sense. I want them to try something that "only a fool would try" because it's obvious in many cases that their sensible and reasoned approach isn't getting them anywhere. Very few companies hire someone like me to "help them do the same thing over and over again."

Logical ideas usually come from the CFO or the bank - and they're generally always focused on "being smart."

My advice to companies who want to make a difference, who want to experience a difference, is to try something foolish for a change.

It just might work -

Espresso Sessions

My clients invest a lot of time & money in trade shows, I am often called on to help them find foolish new ways to cut through the clutter. Trade shows are a great place to connect with customers, but when it comes to booth design and telling your story, the majority may as well have a big sign that says:

Been There. Done That. Free T-Shirt.

Thanks to johnmoore at Brand Autopsy for an idea that I'm going to craft into something for a client. John attended an event that featured Espresso Sessions.

I am going to suggest to my client that they host a session VERY early in the morning, serve espresso and other high-energy goodies, play loud music, flash bright lights, and demand that people get their brains moving before many of them are even used to getting in the shower.

The foolish starting time - 5:00 or 5:30am - might be impossible for some to accept, but those who do will get such value that they'll be talking about it all day. I may suggest to the client that they repeat it each morning throughout the show, to take advantage of buzz from previous mornings.

This just might work. These shows are jammed with activities and exhibitors are finding it increasingly difficult to schedule time for people to attend presentations - so, why not take ridiculous ideas to their extremes and create a whole new block of time to tell your story.

DJ Ditty - if people won't sneeze it, why bother?

A piece in Information Week suggests that Dell may need to rely on "a bigger campaign" than the WOM effort they've developed to spread news about their latest entrant into the space dominated by Apple's iPod.

Liem Nguyen, spokesman for the Round Rock, Texas, computer maker, said the Ditty, which sells for $99, marked the first time Dell has used a word-of-mouth ad campaign to sell a product. During more traditional product launches, Dell will advertise in print media and catalogs.

But the article says iPod accounts for more than 75% of the market and Dell may need to roll out a more traditional effort to earn attention.

Question:Will spending more dollars on ads that promote a product people are already not talking about, make the product any more likely to get talked about?

Another question: What will it take for a product to unseat the iPod?

Qustion Three: Did they intend for it to be confused with a BIC lighter? Will bringing one of these through Airport Security be a problem?

Pogue praises fools and misfits

From David Pogue's latest column in the NYTimes:

Every now and then, humanity wakes up, looks at itself in the mirror and realizes that it's been wasting a lot of effort doing things the old way just for the sake of tradition. From the caveman who first put a bunch of rolling logs under something heavy, to the genius who packed four times more orange juice onto a truck by condensing it first, history is filled with "Aha!" moments that propel society forward.

So often the people who suggest doing things differently are branded as foolish by traditionalists. Where would we be without the fools, pessimists and misfits who, as Pogue says, "propel us forward."

Julie Chen does things differently

I am rushing out to a meeting at 4:30 in the morning after coming in late from another - so today's post is simple, but nonetheless a HOOT.

Watch the video clip here, then read the blog title, again.

Doing so will provide an all-too telling insight into my own private brand of foolishness.

Back with staid seriousness on Thursday - yeah right.

"Good enough" sucks

I seldom RANT in this space but what the heck is wrong with people who are satisfied with the status quo?

The main thing that separates us from the rest of the herd is our human ability to desire something more than we have. And if that's the truth, anyone who sits on his or her buns and is satisfied with "good enough" is somehow less-than-human.

A good-old-boy preacher from Nashville used a great line during a sermon I heard last year. He was sharing his vision of the future for his church and he said,

"Don't tell me you like the status quo. 'Cuz status quo is just Greek for the mess we find ourselves in."

AMEN and AMEN Brother.

The next person who tells me they aren't interested in exploring new ideas in communicating their message is going to get a slap in the face. "Good enough" certainly isn't.

Man's reach should exceed his grasp. Afterall, that's what heaven's for. -- Robert Browning

Is ALL fair in love and advertising?

Jeff Lang at URBANintelligence wonders if someone might be playing an "effective but despicable" trick on the Technorati search engine in that Burger King was the top search there on Sunday.

Bigger question: If this was the work of a nefarious corporate wonk, is that necessarily a bad thing? Is the purpose of advertising to raise awareness of the product? And, is anything short of immorality fair game? How close would this be to some meta=physical line-in-the-sand protecting consumers from fraud?

Host a foolish party

A local independent hardware store is looking for a new ad agency because the one they've used for a dozen years "doesn't have any new ideas." A gigantic Home Depot just moved into town and the local guy knows he needs to step up and turn loyal customers into evangelists.

What if? -- the local guy looked through his database of 50,000 shoppers and found the top 5 purchasers of GARDEN SUPPLIES and helped them host a "Garden Party" for 20 of their friends?

What if? -- they looked through local building permit files, found 5 people who had recently installed a new deck, and helped them organize a "How To Stain Your Deck" clinic - complete with BBQ and expert training?

What if? -- they reminded local folks of the Free Popcorn they serve every weekend in the store by offering to buy ALL the popcorn for theater movie goers on Friday night - and offered a discount to anyone who came in Saturday with a movie ticket stub?

I was sparked to these ideas by a story written by Jeff Lang on URBANintelligence about a similar program hosted by the New Jersey Nets.

Competing with Home Depot for a franchise in the minds of local folks is going to take more than better radio ads. The hometown guy will never be able to out spend the category killer - but they can out maneuver 'em and take the idea of customer care to wonderfully foolish levels.

For more ideas of taking ridiculous ideas to their extremes (TRITE) see my entry from September 7.

Exercise: Read this to your marketing staff. Ask them to suggest similar ideas for a local restaurant. Car repair shop. Independent bookstore. YOUR company.

Life ain't easy when you're living on the edge

I've had an email dialog going with Jackie Huba at Church of the Customer related to some issues they're facing over the task of launching their podcasts on iTunes. I want to subscribe to them and can't.

It's not a huge problem and they'll have it fixed soon, but Jackie's most recent email was sprinkled with a small amount of frustration and I was reminded of the hassles we all faced back in the early 90s when business started using email.

Do you remember what a pain in the ass it was just to log on to the world wide web? Not to mention the instability and complexity of communication software. (We fired an IT manager over problems he had with Lotus Notes - and there's no way it was his fault).

Here's my point:

The roughness we all experience now and then when dealing with new ideas (or technology) is the price we pay for leading the pack. Being on the edge carries certain frustrations that those further back on the trail will never have the joy of experiencing. These days, I'm off-put when my email server goes down for even a few minutes because it's so rare an occurrence. Just a few short years ago I was amazed when I connected on the first try.

So, as you head into the weekend - raise your glass and toast yourself for foolishly hanging off the edge. When stuff doesn't work the first time, or the second, take heart in knowing that someone is working on a solution to make it easier and you'll soon have new hassles to overcome - which makes it all worthwhile.

By the way: Here's a link to the podcast I was trying to get on iTunes - Church of the Customer Podcast

NY Times should be a bit more foolish

Over the past four years, I have sneezed the NYTimes brand to clients, prospects or colleagues on more than a thousand occasions. I receive a no-charge daily headline service from the Times and quite regularly forward an article to others, which brings the recipient into contact with the NYTimes brand. I am an evangelist for the NYTimes.

But that is about to change.

The Times has decided to launch what they describe as an "exiting" new program, whereby I will be asked to pay $40 a year for a portion of the service I have been receiving at no charge. When I wrote to ask them how this was "exciting" they replied with:

Please understand that the vast majority of our news, features and multimedia will remain free including our Editorials and Letters to the Editor. Additionally, the distinct voices of our columnists will continue to be readily available in the paper edition on newsstands, and through libraries, colleges and universities.

They described the decision to start charging as "prudent" and the new fee as "modest."

Hmmm - I'm not sure it was prudent to make a move that will reduce the number of people reading their material, especially when similar material is still available at no charge from many online sources. Perhaps they should have done something foolish -- make more money by encouraging MORE people to read them online.

If adding fees and making it more difficult to access their content was the "prudent" thing to do, perhaps they should have been a bit less prudent and a lot more FOOLISH.

The future has been cancelled - there is NO tomorrow

Back on July 23, my first-ever blog entry posed this question about the future:

Do you perceive the future as something that you are moving toward? Or, is the future something that is crashing through your living room window?"

In other words: Do your current actions AFFECT the future, or can you only PREPARE for something over which there is no control?

Your answer to that question will influence the way you approach strategic planning. I have heard convincing agruments for both scenarios, and a few in between.

Bernie Urban at URBANintelligence has a delightfully FOOLISH perspective on the future. Here's a sample:

We live in a time when change occurs so abruptly, so violently, so without warning that “the future” as it has been traditionally understood has ceased to exist. We now live in what can only be defined as a volatile present tense. Tomorrow cannot be anticipated in any certain terms.

Here's the full text.

Suggestion: Read this to your executive staff, then pose this question: If Bernie is correct, how would our planning process change? How much of our current plan would be irrelevant, if this is correct?

Is there a vaccine for the IdeaVirus?

The world is not as small as we'd like to think it is.

I have been amazed lately at the number of "trend-aware" people who have no knowledge of the ideas discussed in books such as Purple Cow, Visionary's Handbook, Never Eat Alone and others. I've recently re-read Free Prize Inside and have been using it as a source for some conversations with fellow members of an advisory board on which I serve.

The blank stares I get are a disheartening indication that my colleagues and I can't share the same language when talking about solutions, and I am forced to try and explain principals rather than attack the problems.

Questions and Observations:

• Could it be that some people are somehow inoculated against the IdeaVirus? How can these people, who are well-read and intelligent, not have ANY knowledge of the books I mention above? It's not that they haven't had time to read them, most HAVE NOT HEARD of them.
• I suspect the velocity at which an IdeaVirus travels will diminish over time and eventually grind to a halt. If so, how does the word spread about older ideas that still have value?
• It must be difficult to re-start the spread of a virus that's been halted, because the original sneezers have moved on to something else and probably no longer find the initial idea worthy of passing along.

Oh, the photo above is that of the Norwalk Virus, which is said to be responsible for some nasty adult stomach problems. I tried to find a photo of the actual IdeaVirus, but Seth Godin has it locked up in a tube of hair cream.

Free Consulting

If you don't have time to call your consultant and need a quick answer - use this handy-dandy BS Generator from Dack.com.

As a private practive consultant, I collect jokes about my profession. Please feel free to share your favorites in the Comments Encouraged section, below.

Car makers sponsor Sierra Club convention?

Talk about a wonderfully foolish idea.

I wish I could have been in the room when someone at Honda, Ford or Toyota suggested they sponsor the Sierra Club convention. Or, maybe it went the other way. Can you imagine the look on their faces when the idea of asking automakers to provide funding for an environmentally focused event?

Either way, this was going to the edge and here's how the SF Chronicle described it:

STORY

Suggestion: Read this to your management staff then ask:

• Who benefits most from this odd alliance?


• Whose values were most stretched?


• Will we see more of this?


• What other "foolish" alliances could we see?

In this "Age of Paradox" the best partners are sometimes your fiercest competitors. Don't always look for complete agreement. In this case, both sides brought valuable disciples to the table.

You should think about this event

Just got a brochure in the mail and thought it might be a nice gesture to share this event with people who may not be familiar with it.

The EPM Conference has been on my "must attend" list since my first visit in about 1997 or '98 and this year's line up is going to the best, yet. They have simply out-done themselves, including a keynote address from Sir Bob Geldof.

The focus of this year's conference is On Demand Advertising & Marketing. I appreciate the EPM events because they are intimate and well-programmed. You never feel lost in the crowd. I always come away with more than I expected and always find new ideas or new ways to look at old ones.

What is the most important word in marketing?

Of course, there isn't a definitive answer but this makes for good reading AND discussion with your marketing people.

Thanks to Scott Ginsburg for collecting these and posting them.

See the list

By the way, Scott has worn a name tag for 1,772 days (and counting).

Suggestion: Have your marketing people read this and present an Oral Report to your executive team on what they (the story-tellers) believe to be the most important marketing word as it relates to your organization. You AND they will gain from the exercise.

You'll gain by learning something about their thought patterns and they'll gain by taking time to verbalize ideas that have been banging about in their heads.

Weekend Bonus - Are You at a Loss for Words?

Here is an immensely powerful tool designed to super-actualize contiguous words in an effort to hyper-decrease your word-to-comprehension ratio.

The Jargon Generator.

What a hoot

Thanks to Mike McLaughlin at Guerrilla Consulting.

The phone's ringing - but nobody's home

Motorola and Apple have produced a phone that can carry 100 tunes.

Whoopee

This would have been a huge WOW two or three years ago, but 100 songs seems REALLY skimpy these days - especially in light of the same-day introduction of the iPod Nano, that holds 10 times as many tunes.

Anytime you get consumers saying, "Huh?" You've lost.

Someone at Apple should have "played the fool" and told Steve Jobs to keep this one in his pocket.

Agree? Disagree?

Changing things - one leg at a time

Just when you thought there was nothing new in men's slacks - along come HORIZONTAL corduroys and seersuckers.

The company - Lindland's Cordarounds - is in San Francisco. You can only buy their slacks on line AND they have all sorts of "scientific" data to support their premise that cords and ripples going east to west are superior to those that run waist to cuff.

I don't know about wind resistance or drag co-efficiency, but I do know that they've found a wonderfully "foolish" way to market slacks.

Here's another great example of "do a different thing OR do a thing differently."

Suggestion: Show this to your team -- better yet, PURCHASE a pair of these and wear them into a staff meeting. Then ask - "Is this a different thing? Or, a thing done differently?"

Need some expert advice on "corporate self-esteem"

I represent a manufacturing client that evidences what could be described as "low self-esteem."

They are a relative newcomer in an established industry. Their product line is on par with industry standards and sales to end-users are better than average. The company is doing well.

Dilemma: Their sales team seems to feel a need to over-incentivize retail merchandisers to gain acceptance. They tell me they believe in their product, but their behavior reveals what could be a "fear" that lowering their coop allowance or reducing promotional dollars would change the gatekeeper's opinion of the product and cause them to lose ground.

It's a classic case of "putting out" so the boys will "like you."

Any ideas for me?

• Books?
• Articles?
• Exercises I can run with them?

To get strong, stay small

There are times when the smartest thing you can do sounds foolish.

Midst all the clamor to grow and grow and grow - here are some stories about business decision makers who opted for the opposite, and are reaping the benefits.

Read More

Thanks to John Moore at Brand Autopsy for catching this in the NY Times.

Keep things TRITE

To help my clients imagine a future dramatically different than the present, I often encourage them to play a game I call TRITE.

Take-Ridiculous-Ideas-to-Extremes

The idea is to eliminate inhibitions and "logic" while you push towards the edge of reason to explore "things that are SO crazy, we'd never do them."

The end result is often a bucket of fresh ideas that help the organization stand apart from their competition. So many companies are toeing the line of sameness, that developing an idea to its extremity is almost certain to get you noticed - and more.

Here are some superb examples of TRITE:

Scott Ginsburg has taken the whole "wear a nametag" idea to a brilliantly foolish extreme on his blog Hello, my name is BLOG.

These extremely tall bikes were featured on Church of the Consumer.

In-&-Out Burgers have taken the concept of limited selection to such extremes that they have essentially one menu item - hamburgers - prepared with cheese or without. No chicken, no salads, no fish, no corn dogs. Just a TON of customers.

At the other extreme is The Habit, a small regional hamburger chain in Santa Barbara, distinguished by going TRITE with quality ingredients and customer care. I have never been treated so professionally by a fast food restaraunt's crew.

And then there's the new Hummer Laptop, which is extreme in its virtual indestructability. As posted by Claire on l-e-mental.com.

Suggestion: Share these examples with your leadership team and challenge them to take a ridiculous idea to its extreme edge. Just promise me you won't step back from the cliff and return to your same old boring USP.

Free eBook - While supplies last

Couldn't resist the humor in the headline.

Fans of Seth Godin will appreciate his lastest eBook promotion. Hurry to download the 45-page book, while supplies last.

Who's There?

I predict your predictions won't come true

Predictions that traditional banking would succumb to the ease of conducting one's bank business online, have proven to be off the mark.

Only 44% of Internet users regularly check their bank balances online, according to a piece in last Saturday's New York Times.

Companies that put all their strategic planning eggs in the online banking basket are left with some yolk on their face.

It's a fact - the more precise you are in your predictions of the future, the greater likelihood you have of being wrong. A truly foolish approach would be to "practice the future" and plan for multiple scenarios. Don't fall into the arogant trap of relying on your predictions, and missing the changing currents around you.

I regularly write about developing a "future perspective" and here are a couple of previously published entries.

July 23, 2005

July 24, 2005

Labor Day Bonus - How to Work for an Idiot

Found this on Forbes.com - read and Enjoy

You know, for quite a while, I couldn't read the Dilbert comic strip because I was the "pointy-haired" boss. Thank goodness I got out of that space. Now, the only employee I can mess with is my cat.

Weekend Bonus

Here's a nice entry for the weekend from Claire Hyland at l-e-mental.

Claire is a designer with an edgy-fresh perspective. I don't always agree with her, but I appreciate the different angle at which she slices things. Enjoy.

Don't read this - if you're from California

Hmmm - not sure what to think about something that just happened to me. I'd welcome your comments.

I buy and consume reasonable quantities of a moderately high-end adult beverage and was pleased to receive, in the mail, a promotional package from the parent company inviting me to participate in an attractive sweepstakes.

The mailing piece probably cost them $5-$10 and was very well done. The Grand Prizes were awesome, and there were even gifts for anyone who completed a series of tasks designed to get me in front of their brand message 6 times over six weeks.

I went online, registered for the contest and even made sure I "white-listed" their email address so the promotional announcements could reach me.

Then - in rather small text near the bottom - I noticed the phrase:

• Contest VOID in California.

WHAT? WHY? Who do I talk to about this?

Now - I know this is not the fault of the sponsor. But right now, I am really ticked at them for even leading me down this path. Heck, they had my mailing address. Why even SEND the dang thing to me if they KNEW the contest was VOID where I lived?

Question? Should the sponsor have taken steps to mitigate this lousy feeling I have? Should they have limited the mailing to people outside California? Or, am I being a big baby?

Code of Ethics

Ad Age has posted the entire 20-page "Code of Ethics" submitted as part of her sentencing by former Ogilvy & Mather exec Shona Siefert.

No matter how you spin the semantics, we are all involved in shaping opinions and managing image - so Ms. Seifert's suggestions are timely and appropriate.

Suggestion: Take the time to read the entire 20-page document. Distribute it to anyone on your team who handles image and opinion management. Have serious discussions about the relevancy of the "Code" to your organization.

Then - let me know how the discussion went.

Familiarity Breeds Ignorance

I am working with a client who is impaled on the horns of a dilemma (ouch).

The company is an industry leader. Well-established. Popular with consumers. The focus of my assignment is one of their evergreen products that has consistently delivered good results over the years.

So, what's the problem?

The product has been around so long and has been so popular, that many non-users have critical misconceptions about its ACTUAL features and benefits. When shoppers go looking for an item to meet their needs, my client's is often over-looked because buyers believe it does not have what they want.

Perceived familiarity has led the customer to ignore new messages about the product that would serve to re-educate them regarding its actual uses.

Fixing this will require my client to think differently about the way they tell their story. What worked before is now working against them. They won't reinvent the product, but they will need to reinvent the way they talk about it.

Assignment: Read this to your leadership team and challenge them to look for new ways to tell the story about your most successful product or service.